4H

As promised, I had the following on deck where we last left off:

"1. Pro: You catch more flies with honey. Con: You spill honey on the ground and don't clean it up right away, it attracts bugs. The quest to find balance without getting too much of a good thing.
2. 8 years, 10 inches, and countless irrational concerns later, I think I'm finally ready. Another promise fulfilled.
3. Why I want to boycott the phrase "for lack of a better word". "
4. (last-minute addition) How something even remotely related to religion brought a simple smile to my face - free of debating ideas, questioning faith, or sparking conflict.

1. Honey. The adage "you'll catch more flies with honey than you will with vinegar" really came into play for me somewhere between sophomore and junior year of high school, and has proven more and more helpful ever since. Looking back, if it weren't for me being friendly or open-minded with certain people on certain days over the years, I probably wouldn't have the same great relationships (if any) that I have now with my closest friends. Once I finally snapped out of my angsty 15-year-old rut, I realized that most of the fun and enjoyment I get out of life stems from having a basic level of openness and friendliness with each person I come across - friend, foe, or stranger. Long story short, my mindset did a 180 from "I don't like you unless I know you" to "everyone I meet is a potential new friend." A few of those someones have turned out to be my best friends now, so, yay :)

But...sometimes I can't help but think I'm spreading myself too thin - a "honey whore," if you will. Sure, plans conflict and people talk behind backs sometimes, but more and more often I find myself caught between overlapping circles of friends, obligated to sit there and absorb the chatter from both sides, juggle plans all over the place, yet remain loyal to each of my friends in each overlapping group. I've found out the hard way that if I stay spread too thin for so long, it'll start to attract some ugly drama and unwanted characters into my role in each of these friendships, making any gray area even grayer. So I've become much more of a listener, figuring out when to spread the honey to the fullest extent AND when to pull back when I need to. Lord knows I'm not any less of a talker, but learning to listen more has opened my mind to some really cool ideas, thoughts, and observations in the amount of time that otherwise would've been occupied by my voice making its way through a tangled web of unnecessary drama. It's also given me more motivation to put the right amount of effort into each one of my relationships, constantly shifting and adapting but always requiring some effort. And I love each and every one of these [groups of] people so I'm more than happy to maintain that balance - helps keep my priorities in line. Things are working themselves out as each of our lives take on a new direction, but it's always something. Always comes back to maintaining balance, doesn't it?...

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2. Hair. Sometime in 2001 or 2002, a friend of mine started suffering from hair loss for some mysterious reason, and needless to say there's nothing enjoyable about that, especially for a 14-year-old girl to have to go through for reasons she couldn't pinpoint at the time. So at that point, I made the decision to one day donate my hair to be used in wigs for women who need them due to hair loss from chemotherapy, stress, what have you. For some reason, I just kept putting it off or forgetting about it since freshman year of high school. Finally in 2008 I noticed I had let my hair get pretty long and decided to keep growing it so I could eventually donate it. The minimum length to donate was 10 inches, and it took much longer than I thought for my hair to reach an acceptable length to chop it off for donation while still having enough hair left on my head afterwards. But then my stupid concerns of "how am I going to learn to deal with this crazy short hair until it all grows back" were quickly driven away by the idea that I was choosing to get rid of my hair because some people never even got the choice to lose all of theirs, so in October of 2009 I finally chopped off 12 inches. And it felt great. Not so much that it took me 8 years to get around to it, but that I finally made good on my promise for a good cause. I ultimately chose to donate to the Pantene Beautiful Lengths program though, instead of Locks of Love, since Pantene doesn't charge the women for the wigs they need which I think is the right way to go about it.

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3. Hackneyed. Why do I want to boycott the phrase "for lack of a better word"? Because I'm a big believer in thinking before you speak and making the most of the words you do say. I know it's hard to come up with the exact right word you're looking for on the spot, but I do think that if everyone thought a split-second longer before they spoke, it might start a nice trend of more meaningful conversations. It seems like everyone has less and less time to chat as the days go on, so I've been trying to use more powerful and meaning-packed words in brief elevator or between-train conversations to hopefully bring about some conversation that's more solid than "hey, how are ya? see ya later!" , no matter how quick in passing. This might stem from the "less is more" idea that's proven successful for me in promotions and telephone recruiting in terms of holding people's interest within their ever-decreasing attention spans. Or it might also stem from a logic that came from my mother when I was young to prevent me from developing a trucker-mouth: "The only reason people curse so much is because they have nothing better or more intelligent to say"...That one hasn't panned out to be totally true, but I definitely see the logic behind it. Here's to staying eloquent!

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4. Hasid. Very rarely will I ever discuss anything related to religion [in this forum or elsewhere] but this time it’s more for discussing music. In an earlier post I mentioned how 93.3 WMMR schooled me on some new music earlier in the fall. It just so happens that lightning struck twice – one morning a few weeks ago, the Preston & Steve show featured an artist I’d been meaning to get into since 2006-ish but for some reason never fully got around to – Matisyahu. From the website: “Known for blending traditional Jewish themes with Reggae, rock and hip hop sounds, Matisyahu is most recognizable for being a hasidic Jew.” I forget exactly which morning that was, but as I got ready for work via my usual routine, I remember thinking “well this is a nice switch.” (because, routine-break aside, the music was just really cool). So, despite my haphazard start to that day, my blow-dryer crapping out on me, and running the real possibility of missing my train – the experience of new music still brought a smile to my face (even BEFORE my first cup of coffee!) Just another tidbit in the quest to expand my musical horizons.

Speaking of quests, I’ll end it on this – I’m not much for making a big declaration of new year’s “resolutions,” but here are the few areas I’m trying to expand/improve in my life [these actually started coming into play before 2010, sometime in fall ‘09 when I started working and getting into a routine]

1.Make healthier choices (this is all-encompassing: eat better foods, fit more physical activity into my day, don’t drink to the point of feeling sluggish as much/as often, drink more water, avoid stress and keep my mood as positive as I can, get enough sleep...)
2.Keep up with news and current events more than I have in the past.
3.Read more.
4.Make an actual effort to catch up on the TV shows and movies I keep saying I’ll watch one of these days.
5.Make time to re-visit my favorite hobbies I seem to have let slip – sewing, quilting, playing music, crocheting, other arts-and-crafts projects.
6.Give my overall look somewhat of a makeover.
7.Be more financially responsible (sure it’s nice to develop good habits now, blahblahblah – the short of it is, I REALLY need to afford to move out of this house soon before it starts to affect every area of my life for the worse.)

As of February 2010, each one of those “quests” has been moving in the right direction. Here’s to progress! ‘Til next time…keep rockin' :)

Peace and love,
Abby